Mommy’s Groove

Behind the dresses and tights, the blonde hair and blue eyes and perfectly posed camera smile, dark thoughts bubble in my daughter’s mind — we muse about it as her Goth period.

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Running into a former colleague last week, we began to catch-up the last 3 years in 5 minutes, as one might in a chance encounter. But we quickly stopped the high-level recounting of milestones when we connected on how becoming a mother changed our priorities.

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I was questioning things from my pre-pregnancy life I had always accepted as fact. Moving into the second trimester of pregnancy, I was increasingly uncomfortable with what appeared to be popular rites of pregnancy for their lack of connection to the bigger questions of becoming someone’s mother. While I was open to learning how to behave from those who came before me, I was beginning to sense there were decisions lurking around every corner about which I knew absolutely nothing; and I had yet to scratch the surface of the medical pregnancy.

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Even with my oldest, dearest friend I’m aware of holding back as I listen to her most recent progress report — she and I are at different places on the continuum of becoming a mother.

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